me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
