is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
