you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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