Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
