i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
