Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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