She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
