I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
