you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
