Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
