i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
