This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
