She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
