he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
