yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
