addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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