getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
