the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
