paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
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Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
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There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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