Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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