let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
