I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
