Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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