Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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