Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
