the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
