uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
