I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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