So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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