what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
