All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
