I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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