The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
