I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
