I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I think your dad took our porno
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
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