You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
