I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I deserve this hangover.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
