chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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