his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
