If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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