So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Randomize
