I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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