Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
