No, drunk sperm still make babies.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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