I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
