I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize