This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
