he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We need to rekindle our bromance
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
