what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
