You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
