This is not my ceiling
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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