you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
