what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
