She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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