For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
