Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
