When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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